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Get Out Of Your Own Way

In the summer of 1994, I had just completed my first year as a student in the acclaimed School for Music Vocations program in Creston, IA, under the watchful eye of vocal jazz guru Phil Mattson.  Going into that program, I was confident that I could succeed and would demolish any obstacle in my way.  Mind you, I had hardly any formal musical training.  I loved to sing and had a pretty good ear and that was it.  I couldn’t read, write, play or arrange a note of music.  Still, I embarked on this journey to what I now call “music boot camp” in the wilds of Iowa.  I had no idea what awaited me.  No idea whatsoever. I was used to picking up on things quickly, but music did not come easily to me.  I had a classic case of “getting in my own way.”  I had come to music later in my life and I spent a lot of time just trying to figure out the basics of music and whether or not I could survive in this fast-paced, comprehensive program.  Depending on the day, I had a different answer.  My overall confidence…….gone.

Fast forward nine months later…………I was on staff at the Phil Mattson Vocal Jazz/Choral Workshops that took place in four different cities across the U.S.  I was responsible for: helping to run sectional rehearsals; accompany and coach private jazz voice students; sing all of the workshop repertoire and teach basic Music Theory.  Yes indeed, I was teaching something that I had no clue about nine months earlier.  It was at the Creston workshop where I first encountered a 15-year-old from Marquette, Michigan named Michael.  Eager doesn’t begin to describe this young man’s attitude.  We all knew this kid was unique from the very first moment.  He had an amazing sense of poise for someone his age and an incredible ear for music.  He could play the piano quite well so I was surprised when this young man ended up in my Basic Music Theory class.  Upon further interaction with Michael, I discovered that while he was very competent at the piano – he had no clue what he was playing.  He played beautifully and his ear told him what worked and what didn’t, but he had no idea of the theory behind his playing.  It felt like a very familiar scenario to me.  How ironic that I would be the one to shake his confidence during this workshop by pointing out what he didn’t know.  It was my job to teach him, but it bothered me to burst his bubble of confidence.  He had a great attitude about the whole thing and even took time to help me improve my weak piano skills during my solo coaching session with him.  Still, I suspected that deep down he was crushed just as I had been when I first came to my music boot camp.   He returned to Michigan but I still worried that he’d never return to the workshop again after his experience in my theory class.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Michael’s name on the roster for the 1995 summer workshop in Creston.  What?  He was coming back?  But why would he willingly put himself through such an experience again?  When I saw him again that summer, there was a noticeable change.  He was just as eager, although a bit more reserved.  Michael didn’t make it into my theory class that summer, he advanced to the higher level theory class.  He had worked all year to fill in the blanks in his musical knowledge – on his own.  By the third summer, Michael had graduated to the top theory class, taught by Phil Mattson himself.  He sought out the knowledge he was lacking and soared.  What a great Life lesson.  Just get out of your own way and stop worrying about what you don’t know.  Just focus on learning. The student became the teacher, indeed.  I kept in touch with my “Little Brother” for a few years and then we drifted apart.

I’m happy to report that not only did Michael stay with Music, but he now has a Master’s in Conducting and runs a music department at a community college in Ohio.  I just returned from a fabulous weekend with him, where I was the guest artist at his Winter Jazz Festival.  What a full circle!  I can’t express the sheer joy I felt when I finally got to share a stage with my “Little Brother” accompanying me on the piano.  I even surprised him and accompanied his Vocal Jazz group on the piano….in concert!  He helped me see that it doesn’t matter where you are in your life, you can always learn.  He helped show me how to get out of my own way and just do it.  Instead of worrying about not becoming a good musician, I spent my energies becoming a good musician.

While visiting Michael’s school, I learned that he tells all of his first year music theory students the story of his experience in my theory class back in 1994.  He shares it with them to stress the need for theoretical music knowledge because talent alone won’t make you a good musician.  I thank Michael for showing me that even when I didn’t think I was a good teacher, I still taught him something that stayed with him.  He has now given me a gift that will stay with me.  I look forward to hearing more about the amazing students I’ve had over the years, and the current students I work with.  You all amaze me and I am blessed to have you in my life.  Thank you for trusting me enough to let me share what I know.  I learn from you every day and I’m constantly reminded to get out of my own way.

What do you do to get in your own way? Are you always talking about “someday” when you get to follow your passion?  Or, “someday” when you will take that trip to Europe?

• Find out what really has to happen to turn “Someday” into Today.
• Be realistic and practical, but don’t give up on your dreams, passions or goals.
• Get out of your own way and see what the true obstacles are.

You may be pleasantly surprised.